It was growing late.
Victoria’s Secret was Fandral’s new favorite place. Thor’s relationship with Jane had introduced Fandral to an odd series of Midgardian concepts. The best one, in his option, was the pink lingerie store where the women loved him and enjoyed helping him purchase different kinds of lingerie for the women he took into his bed. Jane had given him a credit card, which puzzled Fandral, but it went through upon check out. Fandral kissed many of the women good-bye with many promises to see them again before walking out of the door with several pink bags.
He knew that he had a limited time frame to get back to Asgard. He was looking forward to returning as he found Midgardian clothing, which he was currently wearing, to be too thin and exposing for a warrior such as he.
He was traveling down a familiar alley way, when he almost tripped over one of the men in the street. Fandral thought it sad and odd that Midgardians did not provide housing for one another. “Pardon me, good sir,” he said, reaching into his pockets to see if he had any Midgardian bills on him. He found a few fifties and was about to give them to the man when….no…it could not be.
No. Nononono! This could not be happening… All Loki wanted was to be left alone! He had just gotten away, he couldn’t believe he had been found so easily by them. The last thing he wanted was to go back to all that pain, even if the voices in his head were still there. He’d gotten used to them, now simply thought they were his own, but he guessed that didn’t quite matter now.. Now he was going to be brought back to that horrific place to be tortured and hurt even more. No, no he couldn’t let that happen.
Loki had just been staring back at the other dull emerald eyes wide with fear. It took a long while to will his limbs to move, but when he did, he quickly got up and ran away from the other, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t care if he was in unbearable pain right now. No, his only thought was to get away before he was caught.
If he was caught, that meant going back to Asgard. That meant being given back or beaten even more there, and Loki wouldn’t be able to handle that pain anymore. He’d had relief for a couple of days already. He’d had no torture for a couple days and even if it was slowly, he could feel himself healing just a bit. Was there nothing in the universe that could let him have peace. or was he to suffer until Ragnarok? Loki didn’t know, but he wished for the latter of things, because if he was hurt anymore, or if there was anymore pain, Loki wasn’t sure what he’d do, but he knew he’d break and that wouldn’t be a good thing.
Loki was already broken. More so then ever before, and that was partly what was influencing his decisions now. All his mind was on was pain and torture and wanting peace but knowing he didn’t deserve such a thing…
They were horrible thoughts to behold, but they were Loki’s thoughts coming from his cracked and broken mind while he hung on close to the remaining sanity he had left, even if it was so little. He was even more fragile then he ever was, and seeing Fandral… It pushed him over the edge and he just ran. He couldn’t think of doing anything else. He couldn’t handle anything else or anymore pain..
So he just ran and he wouldn’t stop.. Or at least not for a while… Once the pain caught up, he’d be unable to move for days. That’s just how it went for Loki now.
Loka had finished calling for an ambulance and sending a message to Thor before taking off his coat and gently tucked it around the other Loki. He took out a water bottle, pouring a little into the cap for him to drink, talking to him softly to try and comfort him. “You’re going to be alright.” He told him, hoping he could get the other to focus on his voice when a loud clap of thunder interrupted him. “Ignore him, he’s just being the Mighty Oaf he is; just focus on my voice, okay?” He gave him a smile; he considered showing him the scars that he had- both the ones caused by the torture at Thanos’ hands and the others he had given himself- hoping to connect better with the other Loki when he heard the ambulance arrive.
The lightning made Loki flinch violently, letting out a whimper and a small sob while he was at it. He was in so much pain, and the fear that Thor had found him wound its way into Loki’s chest and the fact that he could not move did not help his fears. He was going to be taken back to Asgard or back to Thanos and he’d be tortured again and again for getting away even if he didn’t know why or how he had. It was not fair when it was not his fault. Of course, all his life Loki had been punished for things that weren’t his fault, and so why was this such a horrible thing? The fallen prince should be used to things like this, yet he wasn’t. He never was.
Maybe, though, just maybe it was a good thing Loki was slowly loosing conciousness. That meant the pain was numbing and going away and that meant Loki would be at peace for a minute before the nightmares started. Never was Loki to feel the relief of no pain. Of no suffering. This was Loki’s fate, and for everything it was worth, Loki had already accepted it. He deserved no less, after all.
- "Are you crazy?”
- "Are you even listening to me?"
- "Are you even listening to yourself?"
- "Are you sure they won’t find out?”
- "Are you sure this is legal?”
- "Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
- "Are you threatening me?"
- "Be mine."
- "Do I know you?"
- "Do you love me?"
- "Do you remember this?"
- "Do you trust me?"
- "Don’t go."
- "Don’t let me die"
- "Don’t look at me like that."
- "Don’t make me beg.”
- "Don’t you dare come near me!"
- "Don’t you dare."
- "Explain yourself."
- "For you, I would _____"
- "Give it back."
- "Give me another chance."
- "Have you ever even done this before?"
- "How drunk are you right now?"
- "I already regret this."
- "I am not wearing that.”
- "I can’t believe you missed that."
- "I can’t do this anymore."
- "I can’t even look at you."
- "I could kill you!"
- "I dare you." or "I dare you to _____."
- "I didn’t do it.""
- "I didn’t know you could do that."
- "I don’t want to look at you right now.”
- "I guess this is goodbye.”
- "I hate you."
- "I have to go."
- "I just want to cuddle."
- "I know your secret.”
- "I love you, but I really wish I didn’t.”
- "I love you."
- "I miss you so very much."
- "I missed you."
- "I need a drink."
- "I need a hug."
- "I never really loved you."
- "I owe you."
- "I think I broke it."
- "I think I’m falling in love with you. "
- "I think I’m forgetting something."
- "I think it’s broken.”
- "I trust you."
- "I want to be yours."
- "I want to try this thing I read in a book.”
- "I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now."
- "I’ll be there in five minutes.” ”This is really inappropriate.”
- "I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?”
- "I’m bad for you.”
- "I’m dying."
- "I’m going to be sick."
- "I’m not speaking to you anymore."
- "I’m pregnant and it’s yours."
- "I’ve never heard that one before."
- "If you stay quiet, no one will know.”
- "Is that my shirt?"
- "It was me"
- "It’s so beautiful.”
- "It’s time to choose.”
- "Just five more minutes."
- "Just go."
- "Just leave me alone."
- "Just let me die."
- "Just relax."
- "Just what did we do last night?"
- "Kiss me you idiot."
- "Kiss me."
- "Make me."
- "Marry me?"
- "My Parents don’t know"
- "My parents know.""
- "Never again."
- "Nh, don’t be so rough!"
- "No, that can’t be my baby."
- "No! You can’t die on me now!"
- "Put it away.”
- "Put your trousers on!"
- "Put. The. Weapon. Down."
- "Shut up and listen."
- "Take responsibility."
- "That isn’t mine."
- "That looked easier on TV."
- "That sounds painful."
- "That was a bad plan."
- "That’s mine!”
- "That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard."
- "They’re coming.”
- "This seems familiar."
- "This stays between us."
- "Truth hurts, don’t it?"
- "Want to hear a secret?"
- "We need to talk."
- "We’re moving too fast.”
- "Well that was unexpected."
- "What are we doing here?"
- "What are you afraid of?"
- "What are you touching?"
- "What are you?"
- "What do you need?"
- "What happened to you?"
- "What have I done this time?"
- "What if someone catches us?”
- "What sort of noise was that?”
- "What the hell do you think you’re doing?"
- "What were you thinking?"
- "Where are my clothes?"
- "Where did you find this?"
- "Where do you even find this sort of thing?”
- "Where were you?"
- "Who’d have guessed you could pull such a face?”
- "Why are you wearing that?"
- "Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am."
- "You could have died!”
- "You could have killed someone!"
- "You coward."
- "You don’t need to be so gentle.”
- "You drive me crazy!"
- "You have ten minutes, so make it quick.”
- "You lied to me!"
- "You mean everything to me."
- "You owe me."
- "You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!"
- "You’re all out of ____."
- "You’re an idiot.”
- "You’re bad for me.”
- "You’re dead to me."
- "You’re pregnant and It’s mine"
- "You’re really good at this…”
- "You’re so weird.""
- "You’re under arrest."
Loki’s question was like a knife cutting right into his flesh and Thor inevitably flinched in reaction. “I am sorry,” he blurted before he could stop himself. Of course, it was not his fault because he had done everything do find Loki. Of course, he would have done anything to protect his brother if he only had known where he had been. But none of this kept him from feeling guilty for this was his little brother, the one he swore to protect from harm.
“I am sorry I was not there, Loki. Please believe me,” Thor said feverishly as he reached to cup Loki’s face. He needed the other to look at him when he said this so that he could see how sincere Thor was. Loki needed to know that this was the reality and not whatever madness his brain told him was. “I should have been there, I would have been there if I only had known where you had been. I am so sorry, I tried—“ Thor broke off and pressed his lips together as he tried to sort his thoughts. How could he make Loki believe him if the other did not even know what was real and not anymore?
Carefully, Thor leaned his forehead against Loki, a gentle gesture he hoped felt reassuring to his brother. By Ymir, he loved him so much and he was so glad he was back, nevermind how broken and messed up he was. Loki was back. He was back, he was loved and he would be saved, Thor repeated in his mind. Everything would work out, eventually.
“Do you remember when you fell off the Bifröst’s edge? You let go off Gungir and… fell. I tried to stop you, tried to reach for you but it was all in vain. You were gone and I did not… I did not know what to do. Heimdall, Odin, the most powerful sorcerers in our realm – no-one could find you. They believed you dead. I… I would not accept it until I saw your body with my own eyes but the only one who would believe me was our mother. He searched the realms for you but could not find you either. My mortal friends helped, mostly because they were afraid of you after what you did in New Mexico. But I did not care for any way you could be found… I just wanted you to be back. And then you were and… I know you are not good, I know you must have suffered horrible things. I know you still doubt the things happening around you. But please. If you only believe one thing, then let it be this one: I am your brother and I love you.”
Loki could not help flinching when the other cupped his face, the first and only thing going through his mind was that he was going to be punished. That he was going to be hit, or beaten or something and it only made Loki whimper when nothing came. It was like this man was trying to torture his mind — make him think one thing even though the total opposite was happening, and Loki did not know how to react to that. All he knew was that everything was wrong and it hurt. He didn’t understand what was going on anymore.
This whole situation was frightening him more. Making him tremble violently while his sobs and tears only worsened. There was nothing Loki could do, though. Believing was… was dangerous. It lead to pain and he couldn’t deal with anymore of that. Not after all the torturous things he had went through at the hands of Thanos. Not after being beaten and raped and all these other horrible things have happened to him. His mind was like a ticking time-bomb ready to go off at the smallest thing, but for everything that it was worth, with Loki’s mind so corrupted and hurt, he was actually starting to believe the other, even if he didn’t as well. This whole situation was just so frightening to Loki. Anything could happen and he was just waiting for the pain. Just waiting for the blond to add to his pain because that’s what happened with Thanos —
— Loki just didn’t know what to believe anymore.
Loki’s version of realities were starting to become more corrupted, and even with the other trying to reassure him that he had not helped and he had been looking for so long, Loki was sure there had been some truth to that but that did not explain why the other was there in the first place. Why Loki had seen him and felt him and smelled him.. This.. This whole mind-game. It wasn’t fun and Loki just wanted it all to stop.
Of course, Loki had the feeling it wouldn’t ever stop. The mind-games came and ended with pain and this illusion didn’t seem as though it was going to be lifted any-time soon and Loki just wasn’t sure if he should give in to his desires to be loved once again by the giant brute, or if he should continuously fear him because of the inevitable that would surely happen. Was it such a crime? For three — or maybe even more years — Loki had been tortured to the fullest extent in any way possible by someone who looked exactly like Thor. If that did not mean Loki would fear that man, what did?
Come on, Laufeyson — You cannot trust him.
The younger God swallowed deeply, and slowly he shook his head, unable to stop his sobs from leaving his throat, or the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He just wanted it all to stop. He wanted everything to stop.
“P-P-P-Please s-s-stop—” The fallen prince sobbed out, voice hoarse and scratchy and raw like always. “S-S-Stop i-it p-p-please…”
((I CARE! *waves hand*))